I have been studying 1 John in small groups and from podcast with Mars Hill in Grand Rapids. Something just hit me tonight as one of my small groups studying 1 John came to a close. How can we understand the love of God? How can we ever love someone fully like God loved us. We try to put others before ourselves, which is what the book tells us is a visual display of God's love in our lives. God sent his Son. Okay, how many of us have volunteered our loved ones to be tortured and beaten. How many of us have sent our children to die. That is a whole other kind of love. Would be send our child to death if it meant another would live? I do not know if I could do that. Even if my child was willing to sacrifice him/herself. It would be the hardest thing to do.
We receive the love of Jesus who came to die for our sins, but we also receive the love of a Father who gave up his Son for us. How in our lives can we love like that?
Peace
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Time Flies and the Future becomes the Present
This year has been short. I have learned so much, about God, my relationship with him, families, and so much more. I feel like I am 18 again going to college for the first time. I know that I am suppose to go to Divinity School. I want to go to Divinity School. I think, for the first time, I am actually scared about my future. So scared I want to cry.
God help me, Father I need your guidance. I am shooting in the dark, it feels like at least. I am unsure. What if this is not what I am suppose to do. But, what if it is and I don't go. I have so many ideas that pop into my head about what I could do. How can I do all of these things and still afford to live. How can I write possibly a book and still eat. How can I study Greek and Hebrew and learn how to teach others about church history without going to school. I want to see people grow in their faith, I want to spend a live time seeing women realize that they are loved and that they do not have to believe the lies the world tells us. I want women to grow into godly women and marry godly men. I want to marry a godly man and raise godly children for the next generation. How can I do this and eat. The only answer is with God's help. I cannot do anything with out the power of the Holy Spirit working inside me. What if God wants me to speak in front of people. God did you see my preaching final tape. God don't you know I bounce when I get excited, and talking about you gets me excited, my leg bounces when I am sitting down listening to what you are doing in my life. God me really you are picking me to do this. I know I have been through a lot and I know that you have saved me from those situations. God I do not know how this is going to work but if it is your will, then lets go. Lets do this thing. I don't even know what this thing is. If I am going to be single for my life lets do it. who need a husband. I will find a way to help guide young women to grow in you. I will volunteer in church, brother and sister programs, I will do what it takes for my passion to become my vocation. Father, all I want is to see your kingdom grow now. To see your children come to you. I do not know your will for my life God but, I know you will be beside me walking and guiding my way. Father, I feel unprepared, unimportant, a nobody. I am, nothing without you. You are what wakes me in the morning and you are what I fall asleep with. One day I will see your face, i pray full of joy saying, "Well done, my good and faithful servant."
Father, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven, in my life, my family's life, and all those who love you. Let your perfect plan unfold before our eyes.
Amen
God help me, Father I need your guidance. I am shooting in the dark, it feels like at least. I am unsure. What if this is not what I am suppose to do. But, what if it is and I don't go. I have so many ideas that pop into my head about what I could do. How can I do all of these things and still afford to live. How can I write possibly a book and still eat. How can I study Greek and Hebrew and learn how to teach others about church history without going to school. I want to see people grow in their faith, I want to spend a live time seeing women realize that they are loved and that they do not have to believe the lies the world tells us. I want women to grow into godly women and marry godly men. I want to marry a godly man and raise godly children for the next generation. How can I do this and eat. The only answer is with God's help. I cannot do anything with out the power of the Holy Spirit working inside me. What if God wants me to speak in front of people. God did you see my preaching final tape. God don't you know I bounce when I get excited, and talking about you gets me excited, my leg bounces when I am sitting down listening to what you are doing in my life. God me really you are picking me to do this. I know I have been through a lot and I know that you have saved me from those situations. God I do not know how this is going to work but if it is your will, then lets go. Lets do this thing. I don't even know what this thing is. If I am going to be single for my life lets do it. who need a husband. I will find a way to help guide young women to grow in you. I will volunteer in church, brother and sister programs, I will do what it takes for my passion to become my vocation. Father, all I want is to see your kingdom grow now. To see your children come to you. I do not know your will for my life God but, I know you will be beside me walking and guiding my way. Father, I feel unprepared, unimportant, a nobody. I am, nothing without you. You are what wakes me in the morning and you are what I fall asleep with. One day I will see your face, i pray full of joy saying, "Well done, my good and faithful servant."
Father, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven, in my life, my family's life, and all those who love you. Let your perfect plan unfold before our eyes.
Amen
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Knowing and Believing Part 4
What happens when we delay going to the Father our sin turns into guilt, guilt turns into shame. The father does not want us to live in shame. Shame will overwhelm us, it makes us feel trapped and alone.
We can approach the cross in confidence. The confidence comes from knowing God is a loving God, and our sins are forgiven already.
Picture a child has been sent to his room, he or she has to wait for his/her Father comes home. The child broke something, or did something wrong. How is the kid feeling? The child is in his/her room feeling guilty, and that guilt is turning into shame.
The Father comes home, walks upstairs and into the child’s room. The shame of the child brings him/her to tears, unable to express the remorse and sorrow he/she is feeling.
The father picks the child up, wipes away the tears. He understands the pain, remorse. “I love you,” says the father, “I know you are sorry, please try not to do it again.” “I Love you and I know you are better than this.”
The child was forgiven before the father walked up the stairs, before he drove into the driveway, before the father left work.
Shame brought the child to tears. We do not have to hold onto this shame. We confess our sin to the Father who has already forgiven our past and future sins.
“I love you, please try not to do it again”
“I love you, you are so much better than this”
God love us so much. He sent is Son not only to bring us back to him but to show us the life that God wants us to have. Bringing heaven to earth.
God sees how our lives could be.
Believing that God loves us changes our actions. Believing in God and in Jesus and in the Holy Spirit gives us the power, confidence, strength to create heaven on earth.
We can approach the cross in confidence. The confidence comes from knowing God is a loving God, and our sins are forgiven already.
Picture a child has been sent to his room, he or she has to wait for his/her Father comes home. The child broke something, or did something wrong. How is the kid feeling? The child is in his/her room feeling guilty, and that guilt is turning into shame.
The Father comes home, walks upstairs and into the child’s room. The shame of the child brings him/her to tears, unable to express the remorse and sorrow he/she is feeling.
The father picks the child up, wipes away the tears. He understands the pain, remorse. “I love you,” says the father, “I know you are sorry, please try not to do it again.” “I Love you and I know you are better than this.”
The child was forgiven before the father walked up the stairs, before he drove into the driveway, before the father left work.
Shame brought the child to tears. We do not have to hold onto this shame. We confess our sin to the Father who has already forgiven our past and future sins.
“I love you, please try not to do it again”
“I love you, you are so much better than this”
God love us so much. He sent is Son not only to bring us back to him but to show us the life that God wants us to have. Bringing heaven to earth.
God sees how our lives could be.
Believing that God loves us changes our actions. Believing in God and in Jesus and in the Holy Spirit gives us the power, confidence, strength to create heaven on earth.
Saturday, May 14, 2011
Knowing and Believing Part 3
We need love. That is why people search for love in all the wrong places. We settle for the lust of others, like I did seeking it from boys, instead of the perfect love of God.
We needed to be reconciled to God. He sent Jesus. We needed to learn how to live again. He sent Jesus. We needed someone to take away our wickedness and sin. He sent Jesus.
We need God’s love.
God does not need ours.
God is perfect on his own. He is complete. He might be the glue that holds us together but we are not his glue. He is whole and complete.
God the Father
We are Children of God
Just like Children to our earthly parents, we mess up with our Heavenly Father. We make stupid mistakes and the best answer we have to why, is “I don’t know.” I believe that God the mighty and perfect Father allows us to suffer the consequences. I think God sends us to our rooms on occasion.
As a kid I got caught doing everything, or my older siblings blamed me, you know being the youngest and all. But I remember all to well the paddle that was in the basement.
This might sound weird, but I praise God for giving my parents the decernment to catch me. I would have tried to do so much more than I did. I always had the fear of getting caught, I never tried to get away with too much.
Recently, I was talking with my parents. My mom said that she knew about all of the things I thought I got away with. How I do not know how she knew but she did. My mom said she was waiting for me to tell her.
God already knows what we have done. He is waiting for us to tell him.
Confession
Telling God we screwed up. He already knows, you think it would be easy. One thing that will keep us away from confession is pride. We feel it when we accomplish something, our pride gets hurt when we are teased or abused.
Our pride keeps us from going to the Father.
We needed to be reconciled to God. He sent Jesus. We needed to learn how to live again. He sent Jesus. We needed someone to take away our wickedness and sin. He sent Jesus.
We need God’s love.
God does not need ours.
God is perfect on his own. He is complete. He might be the glue that holds us together but we are not his glue. He is whole and complete.
God the Father
We are Children of God
Just like Children to our earthly parents, we mess up with our Heavenly Father. We make stupid mistakes and the best answer we have to why, is “I don’t know.” I believe that God the mighty and perfect Father allows us to suffer the consequences. I think God sends us to our rooms on occasion.
As a kid I got caught doing everything, or my older siblings blamed me, you know being the youngest and all. But I remember all to well the paddle that was in the basement.
This might sound weird, but I praise God for giving my parents the decernment to catch me. I would have tried to do so much more than I did. I always had the fear of getting caught, I never tried to get away with too much.
Recently, I was talking with my parents. My mom said that she knew about all of the things I thought I got away with. How I do not know how she knew but she did. My mom said she was waiting for me to tell her.
God already knows what we have done. He is waiting for us to tell him.
Confession
Telling God we screwed up. He already knows, you think it would be easy. One thing that will keep us away from confession is pride. We feel it when we accomplish something, our pride gets hurt when we are teased or abused.
Our pride keeps us from going to the Father.
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Knowing and Believing Part 2
Turning knowledge to believe was and is difficult for me.
Believing God loves me. Believing in God the Father. Believing I am a child of God. Believing I am worth dying for.
How do these beliefs shape our lives.
God loves me! God Loves Me!!! Say it, Scream it… God Loves ME!!!!!
Not as the person I will become one day. But, God loves me as I am now. Just as I am. This is huge. God’s love empowers us. It gives us the confidence to be us.
The strength and confidence to be comfortable in our own skin, God’s love gives us the confidence in accepting ourselves for who we are.
To be okay with the way we look. To be okay with the way we sound. To be okay with everything about ourselves.
God’s love gives us the strength to be ourselves.
His love is what keeps us going. When we feel the pressures of the world surround us. God’s love is there to help us break through the pressures and keep going. Through the thick and thin God is there.
His love is perfect.
Perfect enough to give us a choice, to love him back or to turn away. If a person turns away and rejects God, he still loves them.
God still loves them.
Unconditional Love
Never Ending Love
This empowering love is enough. But God continues to give us grace and mercy every day.
God is our Father
What do you think the best kind of father would be? God is better than any thing we could come up with. God is bigger and better than anything we could ever imagine. Praise God.
When I think about the characteristics of a father I think that he wants the best for his kids. I think that he puts their needs above his own.
Believing God loves me. Believing in God the Father. Believing I am a child of God. Believing I am worth dying for.
How do these beliefs shape our lives.
God loves me! God Loves Me!!! Say it, Scream it… God Loves ME!!!!!
Not as the person I will become one day. But, God loves me as I am now. Just as I am. This is huge. God’s love empowers us. It gives us the confidence to be us.
The strength and confidence to be comfortable in our own skin, God’s love gives us the confidence in accepting ourselves for who we are.
To be okay with the way we look. To be okay with the way we sound. To be okay with everything about ourselves.
God’s love gives us the strength to be ourselves.
His love is what keeps us going. When we feel the pressures of the world surround us. God’s love is there to help us break through the pressures and keep going. Through the thick and thin God is there.
His love is perfect.
Perfect enough to give us a choice, to love him back or to turn away. If a person turns away and rejects God, he still loves them.
God still loves them.
Unconditional Love
Never Ending Love
This empowering love is enough. But God continues to give us grace and mercy every day.
God is our Father
What do you think the best kind of father would be? God is better than any thing we could come up with. God is bigger and better than anything we could ever imagine. Praise God.
When I think about the characteristics of a father I think that he wants the best for his kids. I think that he puts their needs above his own.
Knowing and Believing Part 1
There is a big difference between these two words. I knowing something is true, for example car exhaust pollutes the atmosphere. It is proven it is a true fact. Believing that car exhaust is harmful, begins to change the way I live. I start driving less, I ride my bike places. Putting your beliefs in something changes the way you think, and behave. It changes your daily activities.
I know God loves me.
I know that Christ died for me.
For, those who grew up in the church we have all sung the children’s song, “Jesus Loves me.” This love does not stop at knowing that this is true. Believing in God’s love for us changes the way I view myself, and in turn changes how I act. It changes my daily behaviors.
Going from knowing to believing can be one of the hardest transitions.
When I was around twelve my brother bet me. I would be afraid everytime he would come home from school. My parents did not come to my defense.
Where my father failed me in showing that I am worth protecting, showing me he loved me, there became a hole.
Soon after this my friend invited me to First Priority, where I heard someone present the Gospel and I took Jesus as my Lord and Savior. I was also told that God was God the Father.
The truth is, if we had fathers that wronged us in some way they have ruined our idea of God the Father. If our father abused us, we think God the Father will abouse us. If our father was absent, God the Father is absent.
When we lack a father in our lives, boys stay boys into adulthood, girls seek our love, identity in all the wrong places.
When I began to see being noticed by boys I started seeking their “love,” their approval, their acceptance.
I had a person come up to me, when I was working, and tell me I had a nice body. I lied to my parents about seeing boys behind their backs. I lied to coaches, employers, to youth pastors and myself.
I did all of these things, and I was a believer, a born again Christian. I knew that God loved me, but I never believed it.
I know God loves me.
I know that Christ died for me.
For, those who grew up in the church we have all sung the children’s song, “Jesus Loves me.” This love does not stop at knowing that this is true. Believing in God’s love for us changes the way I view myself, and in turn changes how I act. It changes my daily behaviors.
Going from knowing to believing can be one of the hardest transitions.
When I was around twelve my brother bet me. I would be afraid everytime he would come home from school. My parents did not come to my defense.
Where my father failed me in showing that I am worth protecting, showing me he loved me, there became a hole.
Soon after this my friend invited me to First Priority, where I heard someone present the Gospel and I took Jesus as my Lord and Savior. I was also told that God was God the Father.
The truth is, if we had fathers that wronged us in some way they have ruined our idea of God the Father. If our father abused us, we think God the Father will abouse us. If our father was absent, God the Father is absent.
When we lack a father in our lives, boys stay boys into adulthood, girls seek our love, identity in all the wrong places.
When I began to see being noticed by boys I started seeking their “love,” their approval, their acceptance.
I had a person come up to me, when I was working, and tell me I had a nice body. I lied to my parents about seeing boys behind their backs. I lied to coaches, employers, to youth pastors and myself.
I did all of these things, and I was a believer, a born again Christian. I knew that God loved me, but I never believed it.
Sunday, April 3, 2011
19 Weeks
As of April 1, I have 19 weeks left until my time being a nanny ends. I have learned a lot. Much more than I thought I needed to learn. God has been faithful in putting me in this place. Lately I have been feeling more comfortable with attending New Life Community Church, I meet friends during the week, after 7 months I am feeling more and more at home. Just in time to move again.
My job now is to find a place to live in August. There are many different places to choose from. I would love my friend to move up here and I would live in the city more if she wanted. There is a great place about 15 minutes from campus that I could afford, and I really would like to live there.
At the moment I am looking for prices and what is reasonable. In late June I will begin looking at apartments and decided where I will live. I have never had to search for a place to live like this before. I hope to find a place that I will be able to stay for my whole duration of Graduate school. I have moved so much in the past, I want to settle down a little bit.
I am so excited for August. I cannot wait to be in school again. I know Grad school will be hard, but I am up for the challenge.
My job now is to find a place to live in August. There are many different places to choose from. I would love my friend to move up here and I would live in the city more if she wanted. There is a great place about 15 minutes from campus that I could afford, and I really would like to live there.
At the moment I am looking for prices and what is reasonable. In late June I will begin looking at apartments and decided where I will live. I have never had to search for a place to live like this before. I hope to find a place that I will be able to stay for my whole duration of Graduate school. I have moved so much in the past, I want to settle down a little bit.
I am so excited for August. I cannot wait to be in school again. I know Grad school will be hard, but I am up for the challenge.
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